Category Archives: Pew Talk

Davis: 7 confessions of a Bible-toting, scripture-quoting Christian

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By Laurel J. Davis
Special to Inside The Pew

I was called out once for being “one of those Bible-toting scripture-quoting Christians.” Crazy thing is, it was by a fellow Christian! My immediate response was, “Aren’t you?”  I didn’t take it personally, though. Sure, I got the “twang.” But it’s a compliment to be called a Bible-toting scripture-quoting Christian. It means I’m being bit like those in the Bible who staked everything on what “thus saith the Lord.”

“For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine” (2 Timothy 4:3a). Something’s terribly wrong in the church when a believer risks ill will from a fellow believer for daring to think, dialogue and live according to God’s Word, and to encourage others to do the same.

That’s why I’ve come up with seven confessions for being a bible-toting scripture-quoting Christian. God wants us to be close to Him. But how can we be close to anyone we take little time to get to know? How can we really love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength as He commands (Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27) if we’re not also hanging on His every word?

Confession #1 – Even after 30 years as a Christian, I still have plenty of room to grow in my personal relationship with the Lord. Being a Bible-toting, scripture-quoting Christian at heart is foundational to that growth (2 Peter 3:18).

Confession #2 – I love Jesus more than my own family. But He’s not tangible in this earth realm in the same way they are. The best way to show Him how much I love Him over anyone and anything else is to know, share and obey His Word.

Confession #3 – I am helpless, useless and hopeless without Jesus and His Word. Our very eternal salvation is affirmed by God’s inspired Word (cf. 1 John 5:11-13; 2 Timothy 3:15), our spiritual well-being and witness are dependent upon it (2 Timothy 3:16-17), and Christ’s empty tomb seals the deal when it comes to the all-sufficient, eternal hope it alone unfolds for us.

Confession #4 – I’m afraid of my own folly and shame. It is folly and shame to belittle the very thing that sanctifies us: “Sanctify them by the truth; Your word is truth” (John 17:17). Knowing the Bible helps keep me from the folly of complaining that a fellow Christian is acting like a Christian.

Confession #5 – I don’t want to be deceived, and I don’t want to be deceiving (2 Timothy 3:13). Toting and properly quoting the Bible helps to shield God’s people from false doctrines and the false teachers who use it to manipulate the vulnerable.

Confession #6 – When someone challenges my faith, they don’t care what I feel in my heart, what I’ve personally experienced, what subjective vision I think I had after eating that left-over pizza, or what my pastor thinks. Sometimes they really are seeking true understanding, and God’s Word provides something solid, something objectively verifiable, something independently credible, something not so easily dismissed.

Confession #7 – Relying on God through His Word has gotten our family and ministry through some very hard trials (e.g. Psalm 119:92).Laurel Davis  That’s why no one can ever be too much of a Bible-toting scripture-quoting Christian — except if you always quote it out of context, cherry-pick verses to suit your own preferences, or possess knowledge but lack love (1 Corinthians 13:2).

Praise God for the authority and reliability of His written Word, the Holy Bible! Even when heaven and earth pass away, His Word will stand forever!

Laurel Davis is a pastor’s wife in Los Angeles and also a Christian writer and women’s ministry speaker. Her blog, The Reluctant First Lady, is based on 2 Timothy 3:1 – 4:4 and takes a bold stance for God’s truth. Laurel and her husband have four grown children and a grandchild.

Bradshaw: That’s just wrong!

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Sherry Bradshaw

By Sherry Bradshaw
Special to Inside The Pew

I don’t think you can go through life without at some point feeling wronged or be wronged by someone. I wish it weren’t true. But in the Back 9, I can say from experience, if you have lived long enough, you will unfortunately feel that way at some point. Depending on the wrong, the hurt can be mild or it can be severe and devastating. The only way I have found to truly get to a place of healing and comfort is in “running” to God, not only running there but camping there.

Only God knows the whole picture, the motives of my/your heart and the motives of the other party. He does have the “helicopter” view and He has everyone’s greaterSherry Bradshaw good in His heart. One of the main responses to hurt is anger and bitterness. It is only in going to a “loving” God that we can find the nourishing help we need to appropriately deal with the pain.

Even when our children were young, I would see human nature (our sin nature) reveal itself when one would hurt the other one–anger, tears, and, at times, “revenge” would be the quickest course of action they would take. I didn’t have to teach them this…Revenge was the direct, almost instant response. In adults…it can be the same way except maturity has molded revenge into a plan of action that is just more crafted and not as obvious.

Revenge is the last thing that God would want us to take into our own hands. Proverbs 20: 22, “Do not say, ‘I’ll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.” I love this scripture and can honestly say for 100% sure that I have lived and experienced God’s delivery.Watch movie online The Transporter Refueled (2015)

Wait is a key word here. Seems simple, but running to God enables you to be delivered from the natural tendency to seek “revenge!” The key is taking a step back, taking a “hard right” and seeking a Holy God! There is much to say in God’s Word about how we should respond when we are wronged.

I love the book of Proverbs. It is full of direction and wisdom in how to live an obedient and prosperous life in Christ. For instance, when you’ve been wronged and you choose to turn around and seek revenge, take a look at what scripture teaches about that choice. Proverbs 26:4, “Do no answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself.” Or, with regard to evoking the “wait on the Lord” scripture, look at Proverbs 25:28, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lack self-control.”

One of the hardest, yet most rewarding, scriptures I have ever chosen to live is Proverbs 25:21, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.”

The KEY is seeking the Lord’s approval and rewards and not my/your own selfish desires. God’s way is 100% the best way always. It may not make human sense. I have obeyed at times and trusted that the way I “feel” will change, trusting God with that also. It is amazing, now that I have lived many years that I can truly say that He has and will bring my feelings along!

Sometimes we have to realize obedience to His Word comes before we start to have the “right feelings!” If I had waited to feel like it, it makes me shudder to think where I might be. In fact, I had to learn this lesson through disobedience. Yep…sitting and harboring and “thinking of several ways I could get even or ahead” took me further away from God. It hindered everything about my day and robbed me of the “peace and joy” that Christ desires for us to live.

Revenge, bitterness, and even thoughts of getting even only “tear our city walls down!” Christ created us in His image…He knows what is the very best for us. His desire is for us to lay our hurts at His feet. He promises to bind, heal and, yes, even take care of the “wounders!”

Sherry Bradshaw is author of “The Front Nine: Making Your Shots Count in Life” and founder of Back 9 Ministries. Bradshaw, a native of Columbia, S.C., is a former first runner-up in the Miss America pageant. She speaks at corporate events, schools, churches, and community organization events.


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Johndrow: Trading good for God

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By Lee Johndrow
Special to Inside The Pew

All that glitters is not gold or so the saying goes. Actually the words came from Shakespeare in “The Merchant Of Venice,” where it Lee Johndrowsays “all that glitters is not gold.” The meaning is the not everything that is shiny is necessarily valuable,

As a child I would go to the local rivers and dig up “gold” or fool’s gold (Pyrite). Later, I had an amazing pyrite collection, along with some beautiful real gold nuggets. But the pyrite was worth little. And that is the point of the phrase. Lots of things can look like gold but it does not mean they have the same value as gold. Are they?  Hmmm…Probably not!

Yesterday I wrote an article about avoiding or moving past the point of pain. A lot of people read it. A lot less people liked it. I am okay with that. Not everyone will do what it takes to get to the next place or level.

What I am going to say next is going to be controversial to some.

Today while walking and praying, I thought something has changed. All afternoon I felt it. And then tonight I felt, the collective is about to rise up and change things. The results of our expressing His goodness just overturned something. Locally, regionally and nationally. But do not look at the “obvious” but seek out that which is underneath. Earlier this week as the storm moved in, the undersides of the leaves were upturned. Keep watching. That which is hidden is being revealed. The word overturning is in the air.

What does that mean? I am not totally sure, but I am not thinking it is as easy as I would like to believe it to be. Now Ringo Starr said, “It don’t come easy, You know it don’t come easy.” I do not totally agree with that either. There is an ease in God. I believe that and experience that. But sometimes the “world” has a current created by sin. Our job is to overturn that!

Yet I recognize not everything is easy. Back to the gold. Not everything we think to be “gold” is gold. And now I move to the hard part of what I am going to say. If something good happens it does not necessarily mean it is “God” yet I can be grateful. It may not in fact mean I am “blessed” so much as it is because it may simply be a circumstance. Many things are happening these days that are good. (Be grateful.) But not all that is good is God. Hear me please. I am okay with being thankful for good things happening. It makes life easier. But it does not necessarily mean that it is God. Anymore than an accident is necessarily the devil. It may well be…just an accident.

Too many people are believing for something big and accepting something moderate. It takes a lot to wait, to be patient. To bypass good for great.

Any one of those can be a big deal. The end of arguments, with wills and estates distributed. But the one that most unnerves me is acceptance of things that will cause one to stop the growth, give up and “call it a day. My daughter Amy always told me she would never “settle” and I am kind of glad. (A great husband and a new baby.)

I feel it is important to put this on the table. Not all that glitters is gold. It is important to know that. Many things will come down the pike. And they may gleam in the distance, but that does not necessarily make it gold. And the longer you “wait” the harder it is to be sure. “Was it God? Did I miss it?”

Be wary you do not trade “good for God”. (Or “good” for excellence.) It may be a temptation. It may be comfortable. BUT…it does not mean God is on it. So, why rely on Romans 8:28 to “bail you out”? It is the “rest of God” from whence your provision comes from. It is the peace of God that allows for you to be patient. To be joyful.

Every word will be tested. Psalm 105:18-20…They afflicted his feet with fetters, He himself was laid in irons; until the time that his word came to pass, The word of the LORD tested him. The king sent and released him, the ruler of peoples, and set him free …

Easy does not always mean ease. Comfort does not always mean comfortable. What you trade for good may be the very thing you don’t want 5 years from now.

1 Chronicles 16:11 Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually.

Lee Johndrow is a staff member at The Village Church in Swanzey, N.H. Learn more about Johndrow and his dad’s ministry at

Steiner: Rescue your ‘hopeless’ marriage

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By Karleia Steiner
Special to Inside The Pew

As Christians, we believe that marriage is a lifetime plan, not a convenience that can be disposed of in a lawyer’s office.  The loveMarriage karleia steiner of a husband and a wife is in all reality a hint of the deeper love between a human being and God. Proverbs 5:15-19 states, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the LORD.”

Marriage if of course not always easy, but with hard work and commitment come immeasurable rewards. Below are some simple yet powerful strategies for sustaining a long and successful marriage.

Identify the issues
If you can’t pinpoint specifically why you’re having difficulties in your marriage, you’re probably not thinking hard enough. Sit your spouse down and address the troubles you’ve been experiencing. Be 100 percent honest. Identifying your problems is the first step in getting on the path to fixing them. Perhaps you don’t spend enough time together. Perhaps you disagree about factors related to money. If you and your spouse can come to an agreement regarding your troubles, you can work together as a team to determine whether they can be salvaged.

Communicate openly
Communication is the key to any successful relationship, marriage or otherwise. Many relationships fail due to poor communication. When you talk to your spouse, do so with clarity and care. Make sure you always say the things that you truly mean. Never say anything just because you believe you’re taking the “safe” or “easy” route. If you speak from within, your spouse will pick up on the effort and hopefully return the favor.

Spend quality time together
Many relationships and marriages collapse because couples drift apart, plain and simple. Stop that unfortunate fate from occurring by making a point to regularly spend quality time with your spouse. While you both might lead busy and chaotic lives, it’s absolutely essential that you prioritize each other. Setting up official romantic “date nights” each week can go a long way in saving a previously hopeless marriage.

Admit your own faults
When it comes to marriage, pride is the enemy. Never be too proud to acknowledge where you’ve been wrong. If you haven’t exactly been the most attentive spouse, say so. If you’ve been a lousy partner due to work stress, admit that. Realize that it takes two to tango in a marriage. Your spouse isn’t perfect, but you aren’t either. The goal in any healthy marriage is to always focus on improvement — on both sides.

Marriages feel terrific when they’re working, and awful when they’re not, understandably. Having said that, you don’t want to give up on your commitment at the first sign of a rainy day. Put love, care and effort into your deserving marriage. Great marriages call for dedication and lots of patience.

What is an annulment, anyway?
Prior to considering annulment or divorce, focus on strengthening your existing ties with your spouse. Instead of declaring your union invalid through an annulment or legally dissolving it through divorce, concentrate on saving it. Remember what made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place.

Karleia Steiner is a freelance writer. To respond to her column, contact her at We will gladly forward your comments to her.


Ellis: Important mothers in my life

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By Bill Ellis
Special to ASSIST News Service

SCOTT DEPOT, W.V. (ANS) — Recently, I read this startling statement, “37%” of parents who went to church as children doHappy Mother's Day not take their own children to church.” They added this question, “Think every American child knows the words to ‘Jesus Loves Me?’ Think again.”

It is hard to imagine a mother or father who was ever active in a Sunday School or church not leading their own children into such life-changing experiences. If the parents do not, who will?

Grandmother Ellis, with whom my parents lived with when I was born, always lived close to us and was cared for in our home during her last few years. Special memories include spending nights at her house, her large biscuits and delicious fried-apple pies and being taught by her to read the Bible.

Grandmother Perry always had things I liked when I would spend the night with her and grandpa. My favorites were molasses cookies, crisp baked pork rinds and milk, direct from the cow, that grandpa and I would enjoy with cornbread before going to bed.

I relished the times when my mother would read to me. She read each night from a Bible story book what I thought were the most exciting stories I ever heard. She took care of her house. Clothes were sometimes washed in a tub with a washboard. It was a happy day when she got a new electric washing machine. The clothes were hung out to dry. Once dried, she would carefully iron out the wrinkles.

Mom was a superb cook. She made excellent cornbread and the most delicious hot rolls I have ever eaten. She often mailed tastyBill Ellis chocolate chip cookies to me when I was in college.

Before Kitty and I were married, her mother, Sara, wife of businessman Luke Harshbarger, caught my attention. She was a musician, excellent seamstress, knowledgeable, terrific cook and the mother of four daughters and one son.

Kitty is a lot like her mother. She is the most beautiful, talented, versatile and intelligent woman I have ever met. I do not know of anything she cannot do. All that her mother and mother-in-law ever did for their children, she has done for her children and husband.

These important women in my life are the embodiment of the message St. Paul sent to young Timothy: “I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5 NIV).

Mothers are honored because of their great love and the tremendous difference they make in the lives of their children and grandchildren.

Bill Ellis is a syndicated columnist, and convention and conference speaker on every continent. He is the writer of more than 2,000 newspaper and magazine columns, articles, and contributions to books.

Bradshaw: Wisdom is supreme

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By Sherry Bradshaw
Special to Inside The Pew

Eating salads was something I added to my life in college. It was one of those discoveries that I am so glad I made. I love and enjoySherry Bradshaw, author of The Front Nine: Making Your Shots Count in Life a good salad and find great comfort in knowing I am eating healthy. At least that is what I thought for a while until I decided to become a lifelong learner and read more. It was then that I realized choosing the salad bar for a meal didn’t exactly mean I was eating healthy. It was pretty embarrassing when I learned I was intaking as many calories at a salad bar as Thomas was taking in with a burger and fries! I realized I was absolutely deceiving myself on what I thought was a good choice. I love cheese, croutons, among other things, and a salad “drowned” in blue cheese dressing.

I had good intentions and thought I was making the wisest choice. There are many places in life we deceive ourselves. This is just one simple way I was patting myself on the back for nothing! I wasn’t really getting the benefit from my intentions. Proverbs 14:8 states, “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.” I was deceived and realized a healthy salad looks more like loads of vegetables on top of very green lettuce with low-fat dressing. Yuk! It is not nearly as good as my former salads, but for sure more beneficial.

Wise choices aren’t always fun nor do they always taste good. Seriously, being wise doesn’t always bring quick satisfaction. Refraining from gossip could exclude you from a popular conversation. Or, if you are really bold and gently call it for what it is, you may not only be excluded, you may lose a friend or draw ridicule. How about choosing to stay in and study when all your friends are going out? How about playing a game on your computer at work when you should be working? Or justifying paying your personal bills online when you are at work? I vividly remember our kids talking about a golfer calling a penalty on himself when his ball moved; no one saw but him. He chose to call the penalty and it inevitably cost him his PGA tour card!

Making wise and right choices aren’t always comfortable and could cost us in the short-term, but almost always, wise choices bring benefits; those benefits can be years in coming. Sometimes the benefits are peace of mind, comfort, and satisfaction that you personally know you did the right thing even if no other human knows it, ever. I have found in life – confronting wrong, making a wise choice, or simply standing for right – can do many things, but it can bring short-term or long time hurt, devastation, or loss. That is where trust comes in. I have found I can’t trust myself nor others as much as I can depend on and trust a Holy God. It promises in Proverbs 4:11, “I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.”

I love all of scripture but the most encouraging scripture that I read often and draw from to encourage myself to pick Godly wisdom over human desires or daily whims and temptations is the following found in Proverbs 4:20-27. In my Bible, it is under the subtitle “Wisdom is supreme.”

“My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words, Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body. Above all else guard your heart; for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk from your lips; Let your eyes look straight ahead fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”

I would like to, but will refrain from writing the whole book of Proverbs from the Bible. If you have never read that book, read it; I believe it is the best book in the Bible on how to live a “wise” life. I have found the more I strive with intention to live the instruction found in the book of Proverbs, the easier it is to run and run with a pace that is challenging, testing, convicting, but most of all, rewarding, and, I do much less stumbling!

Sherry Bradshaw, is author of “The Front Nine: Making Your Shots Count in Life” and founder of Back 9 Ministries. Bradshaw, a native of Columbia, S.C., is a former first runner-up in the Miss America pageant. She speaks at corporate events, schools, churches, and community organization events.

Round: Every morning is Easter morning

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Resurrection Sunday

By Carol Round
Special to Inside The Pew

“I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end; He will stand upon the earth” Job 19:25 (NIV).Resurrection Sunday

Holy Week dawned with a cloudy sky, rain showers and the threat of freezing temperatures in Oklahoma. It was mid-April. New plants were pushing their green heads through the soil in my flowerbeds. Would they survive the predicted late freeze?

The previous day, our church had celebrated Palm Sunday with the children marching into the sanctuary, waving palm branches and singing “Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest.”  Not only do our children look forward to this day, the congregation enjoys celebrating Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey.

In his Palm Sunday sermon, our pastor said Jesus fulfilled over 300 Old Testament prophecies—some of them between 400-700 years before Jesus was born—including his arrival on the back of a borrowed donkey. Traditionally, entering the city on a donkey symbolized arrival in peace, rather than as a war-waging king arriving on a horse. As Pastor Ray said, “The purpose of that first Palm Sunday was to demonstrate the Kingship of God, and to offer peace. It was a non-violent challenge to a very violent (Roman) regime!”

He added, “Palm Sunday was no accident.” Neither was the crucifixion nor Easter Sunday. The events that took place during theCarol Round first Holy Week were all part of God’s perfect plan, a plan to help us focus our hearts on the cross of Christ and His empty tomb. God’s perfect plan was to save humanity.

Evangelist Billy Graham said, “God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, ‘I love you.’” But His love didn’t end on the cross. He further demonstrated His amazing love through an empty tomb, offering hope to those who believe.

Remember John 20:1-3? “Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, ‘They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!’”

Some see Easter as no more than jelly beans, colored eggs, cellophane-covered baskets and giant candy bunnies but it is so much more. Easter is our symbol of hope, renewal and new life.

I came across the words to a song called “Every Morning is Easter Morning.” The chorus follows: “Ev’ry morning is Easter morning from now on! Ev’ry day’s resurrection day, the past is over and gone!” The first stanza includes the words: “I am one of the Easter people! My new life has begun!”

For people of faith, every day is Easter Sunday. When we accept the unconditional love of a Heavenly Father, who gave His precious Son for our sins, we can delight in what this youngster said, “Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, but Easter is everybody’s birthday.”

Easter was no accident. It was the Pinnacle of God’s Plan.

The author is available to speak at women’s events or to lead prayer journaling workshops. Email


Wright: Noah movie shows one man’s courage, faith, hope

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Russell Crowe as Noah

By Rusty Wright
ASSIST News Service

Mount Hermon, Calif. (ANS) – OK, how would you feel if you thought you heard God telling you he was going to destroyRussell Crowe as Noah every living thing on earth with a great flood?

Except he wanted you to build a boat to survive the tumult with a few relatives and a slew of creatures.

Would you jump at the challenge? Run and hide? Ask – as Bill Cosby did in his classic comedy routine portraying Noah – “Right! Who is this really?”

Perhaps you’ll sense how the biblical Noah felt. Paramount Pictures and director/co-writer Darren Aronofsky bring Noah to the big screen in North America and worldwide throughout late March and April. The cast includes Russell Crowe in the title role, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, and Anthony Hopkins.

With breathtaking cinematography, this film imagines some intense struggles for Noah and his family. We see sorrow for lost masses, interpersonal conflicts, and practical realities of living on a creature-packed craft.

Taking Liberties
Paramount says Noah’s story “inspired” the film, but that “artistic license has been taken.” Too much license, feel some. I’m reminded of TV’s iconic psychiatrist Frasier Crane, concerned that an employee was “taking far too much liberty with the liberty-taking!” Readers of the biblical Noah story won’t find there, for instance, the film’s multi-armed fallen angels, its pronounced environmentalist message, or hordes of people fighting to board the ark.

The biblical account is short – mostly Genesis 6-9 – with little detail about ark life. So, yes, the filmmakers took liberties – many. Aronofsky recently told The Atlantic he views the story “as poetry and myth and legend” that helps us understand the world and ourselves.

But the essential framework of the biblical flood story – human evil, divine judgment, hope and salvation – remains in Noah. Consider these facets of that story and their modern implications.

Human Evil; Divine Judgment
Genesis says humanity was a mess: “The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. . . It broke his heart.”

Human corruption prompted him to “destroy every living thing.” But “Noah was a righteous man [who] walked in close fellowship with God.” God told him to build a large boat, specifying precise dimensions and design.

Filmmakers took pains to follow biblical specs for their ark. The production designer had many ideas for the ark’s appearance, but Aronofsky, who is Jewish, insisted, “No, the measurements are right there.” 

Salvation, Hope, Promise

Noah built his ark and took aboard his wife, their three sons with their wives, plus pairs of animals, birds, and crawling creatures. Elaborate computer-generated imagery portrays the animals for film.

Rain poured, underground water erupted, and floodwaters covered the earth. Every human, bird and land animal not in the ark perished. The waters receded, the earth dried, and the ark inhabitants disembarked. God promised never again to destroy the earth by flood, offering the rainbow as a pledge reminder.

Faith; Future

If you attend the film, I suggest reading the biblical account first, then again after the screening. Noah’s story has much for a 21st-century audience, including two nuggets about faith and the future.

The New Testament lauds Noah for his faith. He was not perfect.

“Wickedness is in all of us,” he tells his wife in the film. His own drunkenness – depicted in the film – led to embarrassment and family conflict. But his faith in God mattered. I came to faith as a skeptical university student. It has made all the difference in my life.

Concerning the future, Jesus indicated his second coming would be “like it was in Noah’s day” with people carrying on their Rusty Wrightroutines and unaware of impending peril. “You also must be ready all the time,” he continued, “for the Son of Man will come when least expected.”

I want to be ready.

Rated PG-13 (USA) for “violence, disturbing images and brief suggestive content”

Rusty Wright is an author and lecturer who has spoken on six continents. He holds Bachelor of Science (psychology) and Master of Theology degrees from Duke and Oxford universities, respectively. His website is:


Round: Waiting on God is hard

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By Carol Round
Special to Inside The Pew

“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His Word I put my hope.”—Psalm 130:5 (NIV).

We wait in line at the grocery store, the post office, a concession stand and other places requiring us to be patient. Waiting is hard. WeWaiting don’t want to wait. We want it now.

In a 1978 edition of “Good Housekeeping” magazine, a recipe for Hummingbird Cake appeared. Submitted by a Mrs. L.H. Wiggins of North Carolina, the cake took only 60 minutes of hands-on time. However, the cake—made from scratch—required 8-10 hours before it could be sliced and served.

Using over-ripe bananas, toasted pecans and crushed pineapple, along with the other necessary cake ingredients, the batter was poured into three well-greased and floured 9-inch cake pans, baked and then cooled for at least an hour. The next step called for a homemade cream cheese custard filling, a decadent mixture to be spread between the cake layers. However, after boiling, the cream cheese mixture had to cool at room temperature for at least an hour before being placed in the refrigerator to be chilled for another six to 24 hours. The final step in this famed cake recipe is a browned butter frosting, which required another hour to an hour and half prep and chilling time before completion.


That was 35 years ago. Times have changed. Most of us don’t want to spend that much time preparing, let alone waiting over 24 hours, to eat a cake. Most of us grab a cake mix and canned frosting off the grocery shelf to make a cake in less than two hours.

Waiting on God is also difficult. It’s frustrating. We want answers now. Wouldn’t it be nice to pick up the phone, dial a number and get God on the other end to give us an immediate answer? However, it doesn’t work that way. He always answers in His timing with good reasons for making us wait. For example, Mary and Martha waited on Jesus to come heal their brother, Lazarus. When Jesus finally shows up, He is accused of taking too long. In the wait, His plans were perfected.

Waiting is one of God’s tools to develop His people. If you look at Psalm 130:5 closely, the psalmist mentions not only waiting for the Lord but also placing his hope in God’s Word. If we read and study the Bible stories of those who waited on God, we can find encouragement. Remember, Abraham waited 25 years, Moses waited 40 and Jesus waited 30. God uses the times of waiting to transform our character but He never asks us to wait without Him. The great heroes of the Bible went through difficulties and hardshipsCarol Round but God was with them in the trenches.

Pastor John Ortberg said, “Biblically, waiting is not just something we have to do until we get what we want. Waiting is part of the process of becoming what God wants us to be.”

While waiting, trust God in the process.

Carol Round is author of the weekly syndicated column “A Matter of Faith.” She resides in Claremore, Okla.  Need a speaker for your women’s event? Email



Eggerichs: How to get the respect you’ve wanted from your kids in ’14

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By Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Special to Inside The Pew

Years ago when I was a pastor, I was speaking at a Christian summer camp. I was about to give the evening message and my son David,Emerson Eggerich who was around age ten, was misbehaving because he wanted to do something that we did not have time to do at the moment. I distinctly remember feeling: This child is purposely defying me. He is showing me disrespect to retaliate for not getting his way.

I took David out to our car, where I hoped to reason with him. He sat in the backseat; I sat in the front. I tried to get him to talk but got only cold silence, which made me feel more and more disrespected. Finally, I angrily bawled him out for his disrespect, but that only made David more convinced I was being unfair and unloving. He stared out the window with no remorse or apology—only silence—and it ended in a stalemate. I had to speak in a few minutes, so I had David accompany me to the auditorium, where I addressed the crowd as best I could, all the while feeling like a complete hypocrite because of my horrible parenting.

When kids do not listen to parents, at some level, parents feel disregarded and disrespected. But what else is going on from the child’s perspective? I want to give you a game plan for raising your kids, no matter what their age. To help you build this game plan, there are two basic principles to understand and apply to all ages and stages:

  1. Kids need love
  2. Parents need respect

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

When frustrated with an unresponsive child, a parent does not declare, “You don’t love me!” Instead the parent concludes, “You are being disrespectful right now.” A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts. When upset, a child does not whine, “You don’t respect me.” Instead, a child pouts, “You don’t love me.” A child needs to feel loved, especially during disputes.

The good news is that when children feel loved, they are motivated to respond positively to parents, and when parents feel respected, they are energized to be lovingly affectionate with their kids. When these needs are met, good things happen in the family.

But, of course, the reverse happens all too often. An unloved child reacts negatively in a way that feels disrespectful to a parent. A disrespected parent reacts negatively in a way that feels unloving to the child. We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction. This dynamic gives birth to the Family Crazy Cycle: without love a child reacts without respect; and without respect, a parent reacts without love.

Parents need and want the respect that Scripture plainly says is their due: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12) is one of many passages where children are clearly told to honor and respect their parents. And children need and want the love and sensitive understanding that Scripture teaches parents to give them. See Titus 2:4, Ephesians 6:4, and Colossians 3:21 for just a few examples of where parental responsibilities are mentioned or described.

As I reflect on that scene where I blew it with David, it never occurred to me that he may have been feeling unloved. Perhaps he just wanted time with me and was feeling left out. If I had addressed the situation with that understanding, could this conflict have been avoided? It is hard to be sure, but one thing is for sure: my angry outburst accusing him of being disrespectful did not help him open his heart to me. I could have decoded him much better, but I did not know then what I know now. What I had to learn, by trial and error, is that parenting is for adults only, and as adults we need to learn to decode what’s going on between us and our kids.

For example, there’s not always a clear-cut “yes or no” answer to the question, “Is my child feeling unloved?” It is entirely possible that he is acting this way out of childish irresponsibility, selfishness, or even open defiance. He is unhappy, he is just not getting his way, and he is letting you know it. On the other hand, there are times when parents can start the Family Crazy Cycle by overreacting to kids just being kids. Our rigidity and negativity are perceived as unloving to our children, who then feel unfairly judged, and now we have entered the Family Crazy Cycle.

All we may want for Christmas is respect…but demanding it from our kids all year long will not help them to feel loved. In fact, it will have the opposite effect and the Family Crazy Cycle will keep spinning! As parents we need to decode and make the first move. As we begin to see love and respect as basic family needs we will be able to stop this cycle of conflict and work towards harmony in our home.

Emerson Eggerichs is the author of Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire, the Love Children Need (Thomas Nelson Publishers). Eggerichs, a resident of Grand Rapids, Mich., is founder and president of Love & Respect Ministries and holds 30-plus years of pastoring and counseling experience and extensive scientific and biblical research. Eggerichs earned a master’s degree in divinity from Dubuque Seminary and a Ph.D. from Michigan State in child and family ecology. He has been married for 40 years and is the father of three grown children.