Editor’s note: This is an excerpt from “Reality Check: Relationships” by Aimee Colbert.

By Aimee Colbert
Special to Inside The Pew

Many times after a relationship is over, people wonder where things went wrong. Sometimes they wonder why they didn’t see

Aimee Colbert

the signs that their ex was not the right one for them. These thoughts can go round and round a person’s mind but without real answers, they won’t be able to avoid the same thing happening to them in the future. It’s not hard to read people. The issue here is that when someone is overtaken by the excitement of feeling in love, they often times are too distracted to notice red flags.

1. They don’t laugh at your jokes.

What you find humorous is the authentic you. When someone doesn’t laugh at what you do, it shows that you have a major difference in reasoning on a neurological level. In short, they don’t get you and when someone doesn’t get you, it’s hard for them to like you.
2. They are annoyed by what you enjoy.

You’re not going to be exactly alike and you shouldn’t be but when the person you’re with doesn’t understand what makes you happy, they won’t be able to make you happy or show support when you need it.
3. They don’t like talking to you for a long time.

Someone who isn’t really into you will not be able to endure you long term. After a while, they’ll become less and less interested in having talks with you. This is an indicator that you’re on two different pages.
4. They ignore you unless you’re doing something that they like or want you to do.

If your mate ignores you unless you’re doing what they want, giving them something they want, they’re using you. Whether they’re using you emotionally, sexually or financially, they’re using you and you’ll know by a feeling that you are being used. A person that uses you isn’t interested in your happiness and doesn’t respect you.

5. They don’t show concern when you’re hurt.

When you’re with someone who doesn’t really love you, it’s easy to see. Love is obvious. When someone loves you, they share your pain. When you hurt, they hurt. They sense when you’re hurting and they react to your pain. The rest of the signs are outlined in my book “Reality Check: Relationships.” In it, I cover many topics, ranging from questions that every person should ask before getting married to neuropsychological reasons why people enter into and endure bad relationships.

Aimee Colbert of Fort Worth is an ordained minister, author and public speaker. Follow her on Facebook and on Twitter @AimeeTweets4U. For more relationship content from Colbert, visit www.christiancouplesconference.com

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