By Donald Lee
Special to The Pew

In an interview I did with my former employer, “The Advocate” newspaper in Baton Rouge, about the future best-selling book my friend and prayer partner Bre Eaton and I just released, columnist and pal Terry Robinson asked me an awesome question.

He asked me whether our book, “Married to Commitment,” ministered to me in any way. And if so, what was the one thing that I learned from the book.

My response: “More humility and patience.” The book is about being humble, recognizing that it is God who gives promotions (whether in the workplace or in relationships). And it’s about being patient.

Many divorces occur or many marriages are strained because of a lack of patience on the part of at least one of the two persons. We,

Pastor Donald Lee

generally speaking, get tired of waiting on God to send us our Ruth or our Esther or our Boaz or our Isaac, to the point where we succumb to the pressures of impatience (like Abraham and Sarah did) and we (not God) produce Ishmaels in our lives rather than waiting on God to present us our Isaacs.

Some of the biggest, most recognized, most influential pastors out there today often say: “Most divorces occur over money.” I’ve always contended that “money” was not (and perhaps never was) the reason for so many failed marriages.

I contend that those marriages fail because of “selfishness,” “self-centeredness,” “pride.” This — a selfish, haughty spirit — is the root cause of divorce. The money factor, I argue, is the fruit of the divorce. But the root of the divorce is the self-centeredness factor.

In other words, money, if you will, is (how can I say it?) “the straw that broke the camel’s back.” That one straw, alone, couldn’t do it. But it’s placed on top of all the other stuff.

Successful, new marriages or relationships are birthed from honest, self-evaluations concerning what went wrong in previous ones.

Donald Lee is founder-pastor of nondenominational, multi-ethnic Kingdom Living Christian Center in Dallas. He co-authors “Married to Commitment,” (Xulon Press, $14.99) a powerful book on relationships and commitment. To obtain your copy of the book, visit or call toll-free (866) 909-2665. Lee can be contacted at Follow him on Twitter @donaldj_lee. To hear Lee’s sermons “LIVE” via teleconference, call (218) 862-4590 (conference code: 279498#) at 10 a.m. (Central Standard Time) on Sundays and 7 p.m. on Thursdays.

Leave a Reply