Editor’s note: This is an excerpt from “Reality Check: Relationships” by Aimee Colbert.

By Aimee Colbert
Special to Inside The Pew

Many times after a relationship is over, people wonder where things went wrong. Sometimes they wonder why they didn’t see

Aimee Colbert

the signs that their ex was not the right one for them. These thoughts can go round and round a person’s mind but without real answers, they won’t be able to avoid the same thing happening to them in the future. It’s not hard to read people. The issue here is that when someone is overtaken by the excitement of feeling in love, they often times are too distracted to notice red flags.

1. They don’t laugh at your jokes.

What you find humorous is the authentic you. When someone doesn’t laugh at what you do, it shows that you have a major difference in reasoning on a neurological level. In short, they don’t get you and when someone doesn’t get you, it’s hard for them to like you.
2. They are annoyed by what you enjoy.

You’re not going to be exactly alike and you shouldn’t be but when the person you’re with doesn’t understand what makes you happy, they won’t be able to make you happy or show support when you need it.
3. They don’t like talking to you for a long time.

Someone who isn’t really into you will not be able to endure you long term. After a while, they’ll become less and less interested in having talks with you. This is an indicator that you’re on two different pages.
4. They ignore you unless you’re doing something that they like or want you to do.

If your mate ignores you unless you’re doing what they want, giving them something they want, they’re using you. Whether they’re using you emotionally, sexually or financially, they’re using you and you’ll know by a feeling that you are being used. A person that uses you isn’t interested in your happiness and doesn’t respect you.

5. They don’t show concern when you’re hurt.

When you’re with someone who doesn’t really love you, it’s easy to see. Love is obvious. When someone loves you, they share your pain. When you hurt, they hurt. They sense when you’re hurting and they react to your pain. The rest of the signs are outlined in my book “Reality Check: Relationships.” In it, I cover many topics, ranging from questions that every person should ask before getting married to neuropsychological reasons why people enter into and endure bad relationships.

Aimee Colbert of Fort Worth is an ordained minister, author and public speaker. Follow her on Facebook and on Twitter @AimeeTweets4U. For more relationship content from Colbert, visit www.christiancouplesconference.com

Editor’s note: The views in this column are of the author.

By Bill Ellis
Special to Inside The Pew

SCOTT DEPOT, W.V. – The biggest surprise of my life is that all of it is so very brief. The Rev. Billy Graham, speaking of

Bill Ellis

his latest book, “Nearing Home: Life, Faith, and Finishing Well,” is quoted as saying, “All my life I was taught how to die as a Christian, but no one ever taught me how I ought to live in the years before I die.”

We all have an appointment with death. There is an uncertainty about life, but none about death. I regularly read the obituary columns.

Some obituaries speak of hope and eternal life. Others seem to offer no hope. Abner was King Saul’s cousin and a commander in his army. At the death of Abner, King David, sang a lament in which he asked, “Should Abner die as a fool dies?” (2 Samuel 3:33).

Brief sadness comes when I read of all the things a person has done, but not one mention of that person’s relationship to God. Most discouraging are the words that come from a writer who has taken poetic license to an extreme and has a person walking heaven’s streets who left no testimony of ever having a desire to walk with God.

Many years ago, I heard a discussion among mountain men about death. One of them concluded, “As a tree falls, so shall it lie.” A person’s testimony cannot accurately be changed after death.

In the midst of the bereavement at death, there is also bright and abundant hope when a Christian dies. The Christian has hope beyond the grave. Jesus said to Martha, whose brother Lazarus had died four days earlier, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.” Do you believe this? (John 11:25-26).

A short time later there was rejoicing. Death had been conquered. Read to the end of that 11th chapter and note these events. Jesus went to the grave of Lazarus and said, “Take away the stone.” Then He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!” and then Jesus said, “Loose him, and let him go.”

On March 2, Kitty and I were in Sullivan, Ill., to celebrate the life and death of Don F. Pedigo. Celebrate death? Of course, for “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord” and that is the hope of every believer in Jesus Christ.

Lloyd Larson, Frank Mathis, and Mark Ellis recalled fond memories of their association with Don at Peoples Church of God in Decatur, Ill., and remembered him as I do, “a man’s man who dressed well and always wore a smile.”

As a churchman, he was involved with the music and missions of the church as was his family and as a church leader he often served as Chairman of the Board of Trustees and was able to get more done than any board chairman I have ever known. His work and service for the church was highlighted by always taking on any task as a committed, knowledgeable, concerned, and determined leader who stayed with every assignment until it was successfully completed.

Our churches and country need more men like Don Pedigo. I will always be grateful for what this good, gracious and godly man meant to me and my family and thousands of others in our nation and abroad.

Bill Ellis is a syndicated columnist, and convention and conference speaker on every continent. He is the writer of more than 2,000 newspaper and magazine columns, articles and contributions to books.

By Trenika Batiste
Special to Inside The Pew

My biggest fear is dying before I have even had the chance to live. To me, living life is not about the amount of years one ages

on Earth but about how you live each day. Did I leave my mark…did I pierce someone’s heart?  How would I be remembered and how soon will I be forgotten; those are my worrywarts.  I am seeking opportunity and not waiting for it to knock. I dream that one day my passion will provide the way for me to get paid to do what my soul desires; to write.

Stage plays, poetry, short stories, children’s books…wherever the road leads me.  The writing ability that I possess is God-given. Sometimes I impress myself.  There are moments when I read something that I have written and am in complete awe just thinking, “Where did those words come from?”  And at the same time, I’m answering… “Those words came from God.”  For He has shown me a tremendous amount of favor, in my heart I am forever grateful.  I strive to live in His presence for He knows what lies ahead of me.  He is the head of my life. I put Him first so that I am able to walk confidently, blindly without knowing what tomorrow holds.  I trust God with my life, I trust Him with my soul.  Life Goes On is a poetry book that was written to awaken today’s generation.  From a mirror’s reflection stands our only excuse.  Not everyone is the same, but if we can get everyone on the same page…it will be like the day of Pentecost in the Bible days, Life Goes On.  The following piece A Survivor’s Story is based on my aunt’s victory with breast cancer and how, with God on her side, Satan was defeated.

A Survivor’s Story

The thought came,

Call your aunty and have her to explain.

Give her an interview.

Inscribe,

Write about what she went through.

 

Being obedient I picked up my phone,

Called my aunty, who happened to be at home,

Made arrangements to hear her story,

Speaking to me, there was no hurry.

 

The interview begins…

As she converse

From the beginning to the end.

She speaks:

 

I had no symptoms

And it was not a bump.

But what I felt was a lump.

Inflammation right across my chest

And here goes my test.

 

I was worried and stressed,

Tensed and completely distressed.

The devil attempted to instill in my mind

Not to worry because I was doing fine.

However being strong minded,

I still scheduled a doctor’s appointment.

 

October 31st was the analysis,

To find out the mysterious,

The unknown,

And the nameless.

The doctor had completed the biopsy, my examination.

 

Scared…shaking as a leaf on the tree.

It was November 2nd when he revealed the outcome to  me.

 

My heart was racing.

My emotions ran wild.

Doc says it’s cancerous

And it was a river that I cried.

 

I could’ve hit the floor.

I couldn’t take it any more.

Though my husband was with me,

I still needed spiritual support.

 

Stating my options,

Like a cop reading Miranda rights.

Bumpy, bump, bump, bump…my heart dropped.

Option #1

Was to remove the lump,

Option #2

Was to take the entire breast out,

Option #3

Was Chemotherapy,

My heart yet beating

Bumpy, bump, bump, bump.

 

Departing the hospital,

I looked up to God.

I placed this cancer in his hands.

I had to give Him my all.

I arrived at work.

I had plans to tell my boss.

I walked into his office.

But not a word came out.

 

For I was in denial about my state:

Me, I, Bobbie have cancer?

Words I never thought I’d say.

 

So

I just stood there…

Crying and weeping, I stood there.

Traumatized and disturbed, I stood there.

Lost and broken, I stayed there

Just emotional.

 

Finally I settled down

And told them what I had just found out.

Understanding, Sympathetic,

Concerned and Compassionate,

To leave or to stay…it was my alternative.

 

Not giving Satan the victory,

I decided to stay.

And everyone I saw…I told them to pray.

 

Pray for me…regardless of your age.

Pray for me…I don’t care about your race.

Pray for me… if you can pray.

Pray for me…because I need your prayers.

 

November 8,

Marked my surgery date.

Family and friends filled the hospital with their presents.

Under the knife,

I knew they were praying.

 

Hours later…

The doctor gave an update.

My lymph nodes were fine;

The cancer did not spread.

 

Taking Chemotherapy every 3 weeks for 3 months,

I lost my hair.

I craved certain things;

Other things I couldn’t eat… all apart of Chemotherapy.

 

But through it all God kept me.

I made it through.

Now I can tell it.

 

Small things are worth losing

In order to maintain

Or to remain living.

Which is the big picture!

So take my hair!

Take my breast!

 

I don’t care!

I’m still here!

 

This clock has not stopped clicking.

Ima still a ticking.

I ain’t worried about Duracell

Because I have Jesus cells in me.

My husband didn’t leave me

In spite of what chemo did me.

I’m still blessed.

And I’m still among the living.

I’m a survivor !

I’m a survivor!

I’m a survivor!

Do you hear me?

 

Trenika L. Batiste is a motivational speaker and author of “Life Goes On: Collected Book of Poems.” The Amite, La., resident is founder of Trenika Batiste Productions. Contact her at trenika@tbatisteproductions.com.

By Tonya Whitaker
Inside The Pew

CAREERSOLUTIONS, a nonprofit job-seeker ministry, will hold a community job fair from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on April 17 at First Baptist Church Euless (Campus West), 1000 W. Airport Freeway, in Euless. The event, billed as one of the largest job fairs in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, is free.

Employers slated to attend the fair have openings in sales, health care, technology, finance, management, government, retail, law enforcement, and customer service. A complete list of employers for the fair as of press time is available here.

In addition to the job fair, attendees are encouraged to participate in the booths that feature free resume reviews, free image consulting, free background checks, and free seminars. CAREERSOLUTIONS founder David Rawles will discuss the “Top Ten Things You Never Put on Your Resume.” Mike McCormack, career management consultant for PeopleRight Careers, will speak on “Using Assessments for Career Direction.” A seminar on “God’s Role in the Job Search” is also planned.

Listen to CAREERSOLUTIONS Radio on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3 p.m. CST on KDKR 91.3 in the Dallas/Fort Worth. For more information on CAREERSOLUTIONS, visit www.careersolutions.org.